whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
