I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
