Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
