I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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