Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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