if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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