Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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