So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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