she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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