She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
