3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
