is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
