I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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