i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize