take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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