BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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