thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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