do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
