You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have aggressive nipples.
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