I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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