I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
