Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
