Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
