I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
