I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
