I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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