Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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