Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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