I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
