i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
