He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
