the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
