I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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