awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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