I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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