I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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