four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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