I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
