Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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