i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There's always time for handjobs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
