Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
