Sponge bath it is.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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