u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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