names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
