why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
