Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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