I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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