i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
