We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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