your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
are you so shy because you have an std?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
